My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
