Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
