Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
