dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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