Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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