I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm at about main and main street
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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