I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
