theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
