We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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