Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
