Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize