my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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