this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
