No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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