he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
