But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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