i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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