my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
