on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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