i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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