Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
