frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
