Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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