Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
