Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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