member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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