she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
