I CAN MOONWALK!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
