wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
