3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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