508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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