i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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