There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
