Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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