im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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