I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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