You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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