hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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