I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
