I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
