We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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