How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
