some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
