No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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