I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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