I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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