margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize