i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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