I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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