I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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