And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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