i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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