used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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