I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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