I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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