WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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