It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
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