I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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