the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
