Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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