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dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
