imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.