So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
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I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.