He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.