He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.